A wedding rehearsal is not like a high school play’s dress rehearsal. You will not be in your wedding dress or tux. I will not share your story that evening. Instead, it is to help everyone know where they need to be when. I literally walk everyone through their paces.

Ironically, the rehearsal for a 30 minute ceremony takes about an hour. Most other wedding ministers do it in 30 minutes but I do not find that to be long enough. It would really help my schedule if I could do it in half the time. But I want everyone to be comfortable and confident.

Who should be there? Everyone who is in the processional (walking down the aisle). That means parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearers, flower girls, ushers if you have an aisle runner and, yes, the bride and groom. Readers do not have to be there but it is helpful.

Where should the rehearsal be at? Ideally, the very place the ceremony will be. It will help us all get a sense of the place. The first bridesmaid and groomsman to come in have a challenging job — finding the correct spot to stand. All the other bridesmaids and groomsmen stand between them and me. However, it is 75% as effective to have it somewhere else — a restaurant, a home, etc.

When do you not need a rehearsal? If you only have, say, a best man and maid/matron of honor — very few people up front. The advantage of not having a rehearsal is that you do not need to have a rehearsal dinner (or lunch) — that saves some dollars. You have a detailed line-by-line order of the processional in the script. (Example: “ Groom walks bride’s mother down on his left arm. Groom remains in front.” ) You can give those few people in the processional a copy of the first page.

You need to make sure the rehearsal time is available in my schedule. Almost always, Friday at 5:00 pm or 6:00 pm is not available — I have another wedding then. (I am a full-time wedding minister, this is what I do for a living.) It is likely that the place the ceremony will be will not be available for the same reason — a wedding is taking place then. One option, have the rehearsal dinner at, say, 6:00 pm and then I will come by at 8:30 pm to lead the rehearsal. If people are running late due to work or traffic, they are late for the dinner.

If most of the people at the rehearsal are local, have the rehearsal on a Wednesday or Thursday evening. Because no one gets married on those days, I am almost always available. I can be there at any time. (I operate on a first-come, first-served basis. So, do let me know your preference before another couple does.)

In a platinum ceremony, this is included as part of the all-inclusive fee.

A rehearsal is not included in a gold ceremony or silver ceremony. Those weddings are, almost by definition, small with few if any bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.